


Fishnet gloves are shit at hiding things

by smol_british_fangirl



Category: Welcome to Night Vale, wtnv
Genre: Carlos is a Dork, Cecil Has Tattoos, Cecil Is Not Described, Cecil Is a Good Boyfriend, Cecil has Lyme Disease, Cecil is a Dork, Chubby Carlos, Crying, Cuddles, Desert other world, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Lots of Crying, M/M, Physical hurt/comfort, Self Harm, carlos is a worried boyfriend, like a fuck ton of crying, lyme disease, set after episode 70B, short Carlos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-15
Updated: 2018-09-15
Packaged: 2019-07-12 15:14:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15997871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smol_british_fangirl/pseuds/smol_british_fangirl
Summary: When Cecil and Carlos are reunited after Carlos’ year in the desert other world everything seems swell until Carlos notices several scars lining Cecil’s forearms and realises how badly the last year has affected Cecil.





	Fishnet gloves are shit at hiding things

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: self harm   
> Ok here’s a little one shot, best read to Emily james’ “the scientist”

Carlos slips his hand up Cecil’s sleeve and runs his thumb across his forearm, he stops when he feels thin parallel bumps all over his boyfriend’s skin. Cecil obviously realises what Carlos has found because he quickly withdraws his arm and hides it beneath the table. If Carlos hadn’t been worried before he certainly is now, he stares at Cecil with a concerned expression as the taller man fails to meet his gaze. Cecil is just staring down at his lap, pulling his sleeves as far as they will go to try and cover as much of the skin beneath as possible.

“Ceec, you ok honey?” Carlos inquires, he’s almost certain that Cecil’s reply will neglect the scars that are covering at least his left fore arm, But if he isn’t willing to experiment then how can Carlos call himself a scientist. Cecil’s head snaps up to face Carlos.

“Yeh, never better.” He reply’s as he dons his presenting smile, it’s wide and joyful but Carlos knows how easily his boyfriend can fake the expression if he needs to hide his true feelings, hes even seen him manage a pretty convincing rendition during a day where his Lyme disease was flaring up and he was bedridden due to pain. Cecil runs a hand through his own fringe and Carlos notices that part of his sleeve is held tightly by his ring and pinky fingers, most Likely to prevent his sleeve from slipping down, this confirms Carlos’ hypothesis that both arms were scared because Cecil had just raised his right arm. Carlos knows that he’s going to get nowhere by just pushing a line of questions that are sure to make them both feel uneasy, also he really doesn’t want to ruin their first date in months, he’ll just have to try another approach later.

* * *  
The evening finds Carlos curled up on their bed in nothing but a t-shirt and pants, staring at nothing in particular as tears drip down his rosy cheeks. He is aware that Cecil will be home soon and that he himself looks like an utter mess but he can’t seem to muster the will power to care enough to do something about this, his hair is sticking up in all directions after being ruffled and pulled at by distressed and shaking hands for several hours, his skin is flushed with a reddish hue and has become puffy under his blood shot eyes, his face Is damp from tears that have been Rubbed into them as if they are moisturiser, his clothes from earlier in the day are strewn across the room, his glasses are sat bedside him despite that fact that he is practically blind with out them because they had been getting in the way any time he attempted to wipe his face clean.

He had left the lab hours before he had planned to, his thoughts have been consumed by the marks he had felt on Cecil’s wrist and because of this he couldn’t focus on the experiments he was trying to complete. He has spent the time he would have spent working, thinking about the things Cecil has been feeling to get him to the point of cutting, he thinks of his own experiences of the matter during high school and the thoughts that had brought him to do it, the abusive hateful thoughts that had pushed him to the brink. Then the worst comes, as he try’s to figure out what the cause for Cecil’s actions was and he beings to remember all the missed calls, all the times he’d hung up mid conversation because, as he put it himself, ‘science needed him’, the broken quality in Cecil’s voice every time he informed him of the fact that he could come home just yet and the memory of the Pain that filled his honey voiced honey the day he had informed that he was choosing to stay away, choosing not to come home. 

From that point the amount of tissues that littered the bed and surrounding floor only doubled as even Carlos’ thoughts are interrupted by tears. He sits and he thinks and he sobs. Till the apartment door is flung open and the sound of Cecil’s walking stick tapping against the floor approaches, Carlos doesn’t even bother to try and calm himself, there is no point, he’s too far into this shit at this point, it’s gonna take more than some speedy eye rubbing and a couple deep breaths to solve this. So instead he flops onto the bed in a loose ball of emotions and tears, trying his best to muffle his sobs with the duvet but all this really does is soak a small segment of the duvet cover.

Cecil opens the door slowly and peers into the room to get an idea of the situation, the slow and steady approach is soon discarded when Cecil sees the state of his boyfriend. He moves as quickly as he can towards the bed, stumbling and falling to his knees with a pained hiss.

“My perfect carlos, what’s wrong?” Cecil inquires, letting his walking stick fall to the floor in favour of using both of his hands to gently pet Carlos’ dark curls. “Bunny?” He continues when Carlos’ only reply is reaching out a hand to grab Cecil’s shirt. Cecil understands the gesture and climbs onto the bed with as much grace as he can, before sliding an arm around Carlos waist and pulling him into a loose embrace. “It’s ok, I’m here now and it’s all gonna be ok.” He whispers softly, resting his head atop his boyfriend’s as Carlos buries his face into Cecil’s chest, he runs his hand through Carlos hair in a comforting manner as he continues his soft spoken reassurances, trying his best to keep them a little vague due to his lack of knowledge on the situation. “You’re safe and I’m safe and everything is just fine, I love you so much darling and there’s no need to worry.” He presses his lips to Carlos forehead and lets them linger after the kiss is complete, trying his best not to let on how fucking worried this is making him.

It takes quite a while for Carlos to calm down, but Cecil is patient and remains exactly where he is, disregarding the fact the he can feel his arm falling asleep or that his shirt is sticking to his chest as tears soak the material, that at some points Carlos cards his fingers through Cecil’s fringe and holds on a little to tightly for comfort or that the shirt that Carlos is wearing smells quite strongly of a mixture of chlorine and copper and that it is burning his nostrils slightly. It’s killing him to see the Carlos like this and have no idea how to help, he’s feels so utterly useless that this is all he can do as well as a little guilty that in a way he’s enjoying this, enjoying that fact that he is actually holding Carlos in his arms.

Carlos eventually pushes himself away slightly so that he can meet Cecil’s gaze, he sniffles a bit as he intertwines his fingers with Cecil’s. He glances at the purple fishnets that Cecil has added to his outfit since this morning, Carlos smiles sadly as he notices the pink marks peeking out from the gaps in the gloves.

“You know that fishnets are really shit for hiding things.” Carlos murmurs, turning back to face Cecil. The taller man sighs and looks down to his more visible arm.

“So you did find them.” He replies quietly, a sad smile gracing his lips. “Honestly that was a lot sooner that I thought, I hoped for like at least a week to come up with a way to explain it but I guess that’s not hows it’s gonna work.” He brushes a stray curl from Carlos face and tucks it behind his ear as he says this. “I guess I’ve got some stuff to explain then.” Carlos’ face flushes a deeper red, this time caused by the slight shame he feels at Cecil’s statement; he really doesn’t want to push him and would feel awful for doing so, even in the slightest.

“You d-don’t have t-to, if-f your not comfortable.” He stutters, letting out a shaky breath. Cecil shakes his head and dons a more noticeable smile.

“It’s ok, I was planning to tell you, I just wanted to do it right so that you wouldn’t react like, well like this.” He smirks, running his free hand through Carlos loose fringe. Carlos let’s out a quiet hint of a laugh, though Cecil notices it all the same and his smile widens ever so slightly. “Now before I get into this I need you to try and not blame yourself for this cause what’s done is done and doesn’t need worried about, ok?” Carlos sinks his teeth into his bottom lip to the point were he can tell that it will leave a scab, unsure if he can do that if Cecil’s reasoning is anything like his internal monologue has been this afternoon, though eventually he takes a deep breath and nods. “Well I used it as, grounding. It started when I realised that you weren’t going to be back in a couple weeks, I would get all worked up about when you’d come back if ever and my mind would just sink deeper and deeper until I’d get completely lost in these thoughts, I needed a distraction, something to pull me back to reality. So I tried cutting and it worked, so whenever I got too far on that train of thought I’d, you know and it’d keep me falling falling victim to my fears.” He takes a chance to glance at Carlos who has pulled himself back up against Cecil’s chest, his grip is tight around the blonde’s waist, he’s not crying anymore but Cecil really can’t tell if that’s a good thing or not. “Babe it was kind of a rough year but it’s over now and I stopped a couple months ago and everything is ok, well maybe not everything in the world but with me and you, everything’s ok.” He caresses Carlos soft curls as he feels the smaller man’s chest rise with each shaky breath and press against his own. Carlos looks up at Cecil and gives him a small, sad smile, it’s about all he can muster at the moment.

“Um if your not comfortable it’s fine but may I see them?” He asks hesitantly, in a quite voice. Cecil nods and pushes back a little to allow himself room to remove his gloves, he slips his arms away from Carlos and pulls off the dark purple fishnets adorning them. This is the first time Carlos is getting a proper look at them; he’s pretty sure if he could he’d be crying again but he seems to exhausted his supply of tears. Even without his glasses he can see them, the marks are thick and pink, they sit raised above the surrounding skin and are placed in groups of fives or tens, Cecil’s tattoos have lent back as far as they can from the dozens of scars sharing their space, keeping their distance as best the can. Carlos sighs, and slowly moves his own arms so that he is able to intertwine his fingers with Cecil’s, he pulls Cecil’s hands to his lips and kisses each of his pale wrists before shuffling back towards his boyfriend’s chest.“I love you, I’m so sorry, I love you so so much and I’m so fucking sorry.” He says as he feels a lump once again rising in his throat. Cecil smiles and leans forward to place a gentle kiss to Carlos forehead and then wresting his own against it.

“It’s ok and I love you too, more than you can ever know.” He replies softly, relieved when he sees the hint of a smile cross Carlos’ lips.

“Try me.” He murmurs before leaning in and pressing his lips against Cecil’s in a kiss to make up for all they had missed over the last year, it’s tender and sweet and lasts until neither man can hold his breath any longer, they both needed this and god it is just as good as they had imagined, it makes it finally feel real, they are together, they are together and they are home and that’s how things will stay.


End file.
